Motherhood….. The Next Chapter

Happiest of Mother’s Days to all of you MOMS out there! This is a BIG one for me….. over the last 24 hours, I went from having one college student to two. My days of being a mom to a high schooler are finished and it’s on to the next phase of life. This new chapter will entail phone calls, text messages and if I ever figure it out…… FaceTime as my method of communicating with the roommates this fall.

I know I’ll get plenty of, “Hey Mom, how do I……..?” calls. I’ll also get the calls asking for….. money….. which I may or may not accommodate. Roommate #2 learned rather quickly that poker losses at the SAE house were NOT a Qualified 529 expense!

The calls I’m most looking forward to are the ones they will make just to “Say Hi!”. I’m a realist…. I know those won’t be daily, but I’ll get ’em at some point and when I do, I’ll be a happy momma that day!

It’s been a long road from having 2 swaddled in blankets and struggling to get them to sleep through the night to where we are now – which is trying to get MYSELF to sleep through the night!

They are adults. They have social lives and friends and jobs and our home is now a sanctuary from all of the “noise” in their lives. I hope it will always be the place that they can come and recharge, laugh, rest, ask advice and then gather their belongings to head back to different ends of Tennessee and Arkansas.

I’m not as sentimental about the impending empty nest as I thought I would be. I don’t long for the days of sippy cups, strollers, and diapers. I remember them and they make me smile as I think of those long ago days but…..I’ve actually come to accept this new chapter much better than I or even Roommate #1 thought I would.

It. Is. Time.

Lately, I’ve wondered if I taught my boys all of the things I was supposed to. I’ve wondered if I made the right decisions for them through the years. I’ve wondered how much I bungled things.

Jackie Kennedy said, “if you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.” I am a FIRM BELIEVER in that quote which is why I wonder about the job I did.

Here’s what I finally decided about that…..I did the best that I could on most of the days. I made mistakes, but I also had triumphs. It’s a culmination of all of the things I did and in that realm… I think I can mark more good than bad.

I had a “light bulb” moment a few weeks ago as I drove home from the “Moms Weekend” at the University of Arkansas. It was during that visit that it hit me. I might have molded the clay, but all that he is now is ….. HIM.

He found his niche …. his friends, his roommates, his classes, and his academic and social life. I didn’t “choose” any of it for him. I sat there and watched all of these new friends, and I couldn’t help but think….. I’m so happy to have the opportunity to see his life from this viewpoint. I’m not taking credit for where he is now because I’m not entitled to. I might’ve provided the training wheels but those are long gone and he is navigating life on his own pretty well in the Ozarks.

It’s at this point that I could tell you stories of the numerous calls I’ve gotten from this scatterbrained roommate who can’t seem to locate his keys, wallet, shoes, etc… on an any given day, but I will refrain from pointing out that tiny character flaw. Instead, I’ll just give him kudos for managing to have a successful college career thus far in the midst of searching for “missing items” pretty often!

Next Mother’s Day, I’ll be able to report to you how roommate #3 is navigating life in the Smoky Mountains. I can tell you right now that he won’t be “losing” things…. oh no… that fella has an entire inventory in his head of his belongings and he can tell you where every single item is located. He’s got an entirely different “skill set” that he brings to our family. Let’s just say that he’s always been a strong willed independent minded character since his 3 AM arrival 18 years ago.

I would be negligent if I didn’t give a huge shout out to “my village” that helped me through the years! My fellow “MOMS”. Some have been with me from the 1st diaper change. Some had kids in Mothers Day Out and we put on a helluva Spaghetti Dinner fundraiser way back then!!!

Some were my neighbors who would stand in the front yard and help me lasso the troops into the house for bath time! Some were from basketball teams, track teams, football and golf teams….. we sat in the bleachers or sweated in the fields cheering on our athletes! Whoever you are or wherever you fit into the timeline of my “parenting” journey…… I thank you!!!!

Thank you for the advice, encouragement, last minute babysitting, carpooling, cocktails and every other wonderful thing you did to help me fulfill my “mothering duties”! I’m not too proud to admit….. I couldn’t have done it without you!

So…. cheers to you on this day!!! Enjoy the pampering, love, cards, gifts, meals or solitude that you are given today! I am grateful to all of you and today I am celebrating ALL that WE accomplished together!!!!!

Happy Mother’s Day!!!! Wash those hands and DO NOT TOUCH YOUR FACE!!!!!