The struggle is REAL….

The daily stuggle of parenting and raising decent productive loving human beings is real. I’ll be the 1st to admit that somedays Joe and I get it right and others… we fail miserably. Don’t tell our kids that though…. we try to present a united front everyday and don’t want to let the cat out of the bag that sometimes we realize our decisions were “probably” a bit “off the mark”. We wake up the next morning with the attitude that each day, we strive to do better and get it right more than we get it wrong. Our decisions in parenting style are in the fore front of my mind these days as I see the issues surrounding our country and the world. It is now more important than ever to instill KINDNESS in the hearts of our children just as much as it is to instill the need for good grades, adherence to curfews, and requirements of completing daily chores.

I want my kids to be kind to everyone regardless of whether the person they interact with deserves it. Kindness should never be handed out based on the way someone dresses or the color of their skin or their socio economic background. I wrote in my Mother’s Day blog that I want them to be Switzerland all the time and I mean that. You can’t pre-judge someone and assume that they aren’t worthy of a pause and an open minded interaction with you based on looks. That pendulum swings both ways when it comes to race these days. There is so much in the news about the struggles that black children (especially boys) deal with when interacting with others. They are judged by the color of the skin instead of their character. Someone famous said that.. and he was RIGHT on with those words. In the same respect, we can all look back at RECENT history and see that a 17 year old White boy was vilified by the media and millions of people for standing, smiling, and wearing a red hat in Washington DC. He was the topic of HOURS of discussion and analysis by the news media. They condemned him without knowing a single thing about him. It didn’t go unnoticed by me or by some very prominent attorneys in this country and they filed defamation lawsuits on his behalf. That boy’s reputation and name will forever be remembered for those 10 minutes of video in Washington DC. It was so wrong what was done to him. He is extraodinarily wealthy now because the Comedy Network (CNN) is the 1st to settle a lawsuit and rumor is he got millions from them, but …. I would bet if you asked him or his family, they would prefer it never to have happened. This same character assassination occurs daily for black boys in this country as well, but many of them have not walked away with millions, they have simply walked away with destroyed reputations for no reason or in the worst of cases, they’ve limped away after being physically attacked. Both of these situations are WRONG and need to be stopped. So… what to do?

As a parent, I raise my kids to see people for who they are, not for how they appear. It has actually not been that difficult with my boys because they play sports. Their entire childhood was spent on teams, in gyms, on soccer fields or even on golf courses. You see, I think the best way to help people see the true nature of someone’s character is to watch them compete on a team. Watch them in an environment that focuses on US… Not ME. Team sports in my opinion are the key to removing the hate that fills so many hearts. Now, not every child has the talent of Michael Jordan (mine certainly don’t) but that doesn’t matter. The talent is secondary to the experience. Parker in particular spent Many Many Saturday mornings dribbling balls at World Overcomer’s Church in Hickory Hill. (for those of you not familiar with Memphis… that is Gang Central in our community). He was one of very few white kids there. It never bothered him and I sincerely doubt it was even noticed much. He was sweaty and getting yelled at by Coach Harris just like every other kid out there. Parker’s ally during alot of those sessions was one… Tyler Harris. I would laugh when I saw them over in the corner trying to figure out which place in line was going to give them the quickest success in the Suicide drills. The better their spot, the quicker they got off that court and could sit down. Parker never saw Tyler as a “Black Boy”.. he saw him as a talented funny basketball playing friend. He also saw him as the kid he did NOT want to be matched up with in those drills because Tyler has a MEAN outside shot and could run you ragged with it. Carson was the same way. Not nearly as talented in the basketball realm, but certainly played with and against many kids that came from completely different backgrounds than he did.

In light of all that is occurring and all the hurt that is happening, we must as a society raise our kids to be better and to do better. I think talking to them is important, I’m not big on reading them stories about struggles or getting them to watch videos with instuctions on avoiding racism. I think SHOWING them a better way is the best course of action. Put your kids in an environment where they figure it out that skin color doesn’t mean a damn thing when you are on a team. You are all working for the same outcome and working as a team is gonna get you there much quicker than trying to get there on your own. I realize that sports aren’t for everyone, but there are so many opportunities to get kids involved in the community and get them seeing / thinking about others fairly. Have them join a marching band, a robotics club, or spend time volunteering somewhere. There are so many opportunities that children can be given to break the cycle of hate… we need to take advantage and use every one we can. Kids are the future of this country. The media is trying to convince us all that it’s a lost hope, that hate is not diminishing, but I don’t believe that for a second. You know I rarely believe anything they say but I whole heartedly disagree with this one. I think there is LESS hate now then there has been and I think it can continue to shrink if kids are allowed to be kids and change the world themselves. The narrative the media sells us is skewed to advance outrage… don’t fall for it. Just because they are loud and they flood the airwaves and internet daily with this garbage, does NOT make it true. It is not true. Statistics show that it is NOT true, but they don’t share that part. There is alot of love in the world, there are so many that just want peace and prosperity, do not allow the fear mongers and the stories of hate to be louder than the stories of bravey and love.

These are simply my thoughts on the issues and as I stated in the beginning… I’m wrong in the parenting job sometimes. I try but fail in some respects. But with this…. I think I’m getting it right.